(owl flying and hooting)
Dad: What's this? A letter at this time of night?
Mom: Who is it for?
Harry: Hey it's probably for me because I'm so important.
Dad: It says here that it addressed to Ned.
Ned: Yay! Mail for me! Yay! I've been invited to learn how to become a wizard at Hogwarts!
Dad: Give it here. That's not what it says. It says that you've been diagnosed with Hogwarts, the disease.
Ned: The what now?
Ned: Oh! What's happening to (oinking) me?
(laughter and squealing)